Freedom

I went back into my past and planted a garden there –
The memories were dead and dried.
And all along the fields
Where dreams laid buried,
I gathered up their bones
And prayed them back to life.

In an old shed I found a bucket of tears,
Locked up in frustration and failure.
With it, I watered the garden
Parched with regret and shame,
And sowed seeds of faith,
Where there grew weeds of sorrow.

Now when I revisit the memories are sweet
Fragrant with life, laughter,
Hope and promise.
The dreams are alive,
Singing and dancing with praise,
And the grains of faith are ripe for the harvest.

I went back into my past and planted a garden there…
Now as the future blooms eternal –
She rejoices.

In This is Love…

Here you come now… shining;
You have beautified your way to me.
All your flaws you have obliterated
Hoping, “now, he’ll truly love me.”

But I’d still have loved you broken…
Messy and mangled as you were.
I’d still have treasured you deeply
I numbered and named you among the stars…

Faultless, you’ve adorned yourself
Though I chose you just as you are.
I loved you when you knew me not…
Filthy rags and scars.

Fallen

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I wasn’t looking for what befell me,
I’d ventured into new territory.
How could I have known this encounter
would alter my destiny…

Forever?

He seemed like…
Like he was the answer
The manifestation of my desire
The amen to my prayer

And it’s not that he was so desirable
Or that ‘happily ever after’ was so irresistible,
It was his words…
They just seemed so simple
“But didn’t God say…”

How could I have been so gullible?

He said I could have joy
And life… and sight..
And when you’ve lived in gloom for so long…
To finally see, and to feel.. something…
It just didn’t seem so wrong.

And who was there to object-
To remind me of what I knew all along?

No one.

So I fell.
Because I believed.
I bought the lie,
Gave up all my power
And sold my knowledge for a dream.
Now here I stand,
Exposed and ashamed…
As he points the finger back at me.

——-

I see now…

How the serpent seemed so believable to Eve.

And I pray God understands

That I wasn’t rebellious,

I was deceived.

Promise

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“Will I open the womb and not bring to birth?
Will I, who create life, close the womb?”

“Now why do you scream, O Daughter of Zion?
Like a woman in travail…”

You’ll soon forget your pain,

You’ll soon forget your shame

And remember your labor no more.

Writhe.

Groan.

Push forth, my love.

Your legacy is soon to be born.

Stillbirth

As frustrations heighten,
Hope’s heartbeat is fainting…
Dreams deferred –
Now my end has begun.

Convulsing with pain
And riddled with fear
In the throes of labor
I am undone.

No time to be graceful
or catch my breath
I ball my fists, clench my teeth
And scream.

Praying heaven will hear me
The angels will help me
And this seed that I carry
Will not die.

I am Hannah.
I am Jacob.
I am the Canaanite mother.
And I will not be denied.

Burning Bush

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There are just some things
That you cannot look at…
And then go on
As if you never saw them.

There are some people you’ll meet like that too.

One encounter
And they arrest you
Challenge you
Shake you

Turn your world
Your thoughts
Your entire belief system
Upside down.

Everything you thought you knew about
Life
God
Yourself

Just ravaged…

As in a war torn land
left struggling with its carnage
In the aftermath…

What now?

The question I ask myself as I ponder the
ruins of my own internal war.

One moment
One look
There we both stood…

Me, lost
Him, on fire.

I was Like Moses,
Hiding from the Eygptians,
And he was my burning bush.

Singerman

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Sing me a song

A sweet song of love

With melodies of truth and grace.

Sing to my heart

Words of joy and praise,

Sing me memories we’ve yet to create.

Sing me a song

A sweet song of freedom

Sing me into all that I am.

Sing me happy.

Sing me whole.

Sing me wise.

Sing me bold.

In your harmony, I am light-

My shadows loose their hold.

So sing me a song,

A sweet song of redemption.

Your voice is like water,

Baptizing my soul.

Salvation

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He said:
“Open your eyes,
What do you see?”

“Buds forming on the branches
Sparkling with the dew drops of his promises,
Cherry blossoms…
The Word made Fruit…
So much joy on the horizons.
Finally.”

Tell Daughter Zion
Spring has sprung!
This is her revelation.
And it shall be to Him for a name-
This glorious manifestation.
Dry your eyes, you who weep,
This is your kingdom come.

The Advent

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Not on
Christmas
Thanksgiving
Rainy days
Or snow days.
Not after church
Birthdays
Summer days
Or night time.
Not after
Leaving my family
Leaving my sister
Or going home after a fun outing.
Not Valentine’s Day
Sunday evenings
Or after sad novels
Or romantic movies.
Not today
Nor tomorrow
Or ever again.

Lo-Debar

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Feels so cold
In the silence
Just standing here
Waiting
So raw and open
Naked and wounded…
Hoping you hear me,
Acknowledge me,
See me.

Say something.

This silence
Is frightening
The chatter inside
Deafening
The waiting
Is sickening
And my
Worries
Are mounting.

Say something.

Only your words
Can break through
This insufferable
Impenetrable
Wall of despair.

This silence
Is unbearable.

Say something.