I don’t want to hear anymore songs. They remind me of him and everything I thought I could have.
And now I don’t know.
I just don’t know.
I’m trying to rationalize it. But I can’t. Nothing about this is real. All these imagined feelings, it’s no wonder I can’t place a finger on what I feel.
Maybe I’m tired. Maybe time is taking it’s toll and reality is setting in. Maybe I’m sick of waiting. Or maybe I can no longer sustain the belief that it’s possible and that I am worthy.
Maybe it’s all these things.
But it shouldn’t have felt like that.
It shouldn’t have looked like that.
It shouldn’t have had all the things I prayed for.
And who would do this? Play this cruel trick?
And tell me why?